Waxin’ Lyrical

This post should conclude the series of me coming to terms with the breakup, I guess.
———
(Originally written on Dec 2nd.

After my ex sent me her reply following me confronting her on MSN, I called and asked (actually twice, since I’m a friggin’ retard) if she would come to Japan for Christmas.

She said no.

I asked her to tell me something. She asked what.

“Tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

“…I don’t love you anymore”. )

“I don’t love you anymore”.

Cold, sharp, cutting to the bone. I didn’t have any doubt that she would say it, not with the way things have turned out between us. But I didn’t expect it to still hurt as much as it did.

“I don’t love you anymore”. No trace of hesitation, said without a hint of stumbling, in a scarily bright, cheerful voice.

Her life is now hers once again. Nothing I say, do or feel will change that, ever again.

“I don’t love you anymore”.

It hurt, but I needed to hear her say it.

———————–

Epilogue (written today, here and now. ^_^):

I’ve over-indulged myself over these past few days, writing for far too long on this topic. While it may indeed take me much longer to fully get over her, I hope that at least whatever’s written here will stop focusing solely on that.

In the end, though she has changed into, what I think, is a pretty horrible person, I find myself unable to truly hate her, as much as I might want to. I am, after all, far too sentimental a person. Some chunk of my heart has her name carved upon it, like an elaborate scar pattern. Some days I can’t help tracing over it, remembering better days.

For now though. I really should get over her.

Only happy songs to be played now, please.

-Stranger

This entry was posted on Friday, December 8th, 2006 at 10:32 am and is filed under Journal Entry. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.